1
00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:03,306
Ooh baby, I'm getting the
dinger tingles, baby.

2
00:00:03,307 --> 00:00:04,810
I'm feeling a long ball here.

3
00:00:04,910 --> 00:00:06,179
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, baby.

4
00:00:06,312 --> 00:00:07,572
C'mon. Get legs! Get legs!

5
00:00:07,683 --> 00:00:10,320
Dah, yo! He stinks,
frickin' trade that guy.

6
00:00:10,321 --> 00:00:11,255
- Whoa.
- Yo, there he is.

7
00:00:11,256 --> 00:00:13,426
Yo, you wanna watch
the Phils with us?

8
00:00:13,460 --> 00:00:14,529
- No, thanks.

9
00:00:16,233 --> 00:00:17,603
Hmmm. That's weird.

10
00:00:17,636 --> 00:00:19,706
Yeah, I thought Abe Lincoln
was dead.

11
00:00:22,478 --> 00:00:26,118
We must come together! As hard
and painful as it may be-

12
00:00:26,152 --> 00:00:28,356
Alright. What the hell's goin'
on in here?

13
00:00:28,390 --> 00:00:30,327
Oh, hey Mark.
We're just role-playing.

14
00:00:30,328 --> 00:00:31,361
Uh, what?

15
00:00:31,362 --> 00:00:33,233
He's tutoring me in
U.S. History.

16
00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:37,942
Wow. My own stepson learning
history from another man?

17
00:00:37,976 --> 00:00:39,246
Okay. Fine.
You know what?

18
00:00:39,247 --> 00:00:41,649
Don't come crying to me when
you flunk outta school!

19
00:00:41,650 --> 00:00:44,222
Ridiculous.
You better watch out, David!

20
00:00:44,255 --> 00:00:46,694
I might role play as
Lee Harvey Oswald!

21
00:00:46,695 --> 00:00:47,595
What?

22
00:00:47,596 --> 00:00:49,599
I think he means
John Wilkes Booth.

23
00:00:51,269 --> 00:00:53,406
? Well, I used to work
in hot dog factory ?

24
00:00:53,508 --> 00:00:55,410
? until them
robots came along, ?

25
00:00:55,512 --> 00:00:57,516
? and now there is no
job for me, ?

26
00:00:57,549 --> 00:00:59,853
? but I get three thousand
bucks a month. ?

27
00:00:59,987 --> 00:01:04,261
? Thanks to UBI. ?

28
00:01:04,362 --> 00:01:07,936
? Now we're Universal
Basic Guys. ?

29
00:01:07,969 --> 00:01:13,080
? It may not sound like much,
but we're still gonna try. ?

30
00:01:13,113 --> 00:01:17,487
? We're just Universal
Basic Guys. ?

31
00:01:27,341 --> 00:01:29,746
Mark. Is something wrong?

32
00:01:29,747 --> 00:01:30,849
I'm good.

33
00:01:30,982 --> 00:01:32,032
Mark.

34
00:01:32,033 --> 00:01:34,454
Okay fine. You know what?
How are you gonna ask

35
00:01:34,455 --> 00:01:36,525
Jinglebells to tutor you
instead of me?!

36
00:01:36,526 --> 00:01:37,493
Ridiculous.

37
00:01:37,494 --> 00:01:39,900
Uh... he's got a history
degree from Cornell?

38
00:01:39,901 --> 00:01:41,067
Pfft! Oh, big deal, okay.

39
00:01:41,068 --> 00:01:43,272
Everybody knows Ivy
League schools are a joke.

40
00:01:43,273 --> 00:01:45,444
Ask me any question
about history. Go ahead.

41
00:01:45,545 --> 00:01:48,784
Okay. Which U.S. President
is featured on the $100 bill?

42
00:01:48,884 --> 00:01:50,419
Uh, Ben Franklin.
Pfft, easy.

43
00:01:50,420 --> 00:01:52,290
Ben Franklin was actually
never president.

44
00:01:52,291 --> 00:01:53,593
The correct answer is none.

45
00:01:53,594 --> 00:01:55,764
Uh, that's not history, Darren.
That's a riddle.

46
00:01:55,765 --> 00:01:59,506
How about you, answer me this:
Who built the pyramids?

47
00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:00,942
Uh... Egyptians?

48
00:02:01,008 --> 00:02:02,278
Wrong.
Aliens, bud.

49
00:02:02,344 --> 00:02:03,714
Oh my God. Seriously?

50
00:02:03,715 --> 00:02:05,884
Uh, yeah. But you're not gonna
learn that from David

51
00:02:05,885 --> 00:02:07,855
because they don't put that
stuff in the books.

52
00:02:07,856 --> 00:02:10,327
Hun, Darren's been struggling
in history class.

53
00:02:10,328 --> 00:02:11,562
David's just helping him
keep up.

54
00:02:11,563 --> 00:02:14,267
Uh excuse me, you know about
this arrangement too, Tammy?

55
00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:16,908
Wow. The betrayals are
adding up here.

56
00:02:16,909 --> 00:02:18,176
If you knew anything about

57
00:02:18,177 --> 00:02:20,479
U.S. History, you could have
called Mom 'Benedict Arnold.'

58
00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:22,785
Uh, this has nothing to
do with breakfast, Darren.

59
00:02:22,786 --> 00:02:23,854
Oh my god.

60
00:02:23,855 --> 00:02:26,224
Oh okay, yeah. Laugh it up.
You guys think I'm dumb?

61
00:02:26,225 --> 00:02:28,230
Nobody thinks you're dumb.
- I do.

62
00:02:28,231 --> 00:02:30,199
- Darren, enough.
Let me tell you something,

63
00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:31,969
I could have easily
gone to Harvard.

64
00:02:31,970 --> 00:02:33,239
I just didn't apply myself.

65
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,243
If I took your history
class right now,

66
00:02:35,343 --> 00:02:36,780
I would definitely get an A.

67
00:02:36,847 --> 00:02:40,120
In fact, I bet the teacher would
be asking me about history.

68
00:02:40,220 --> 00:02:41,990
Uh yeah, whatever you say,
Mark.

69
00:02:42,090 --> 00:02:44,020
Alright, well,
I guess we'll see then.

70
00:02:44,262 --> 00:02:45,965
Oh, no. Is he gonna try and go

71
00:02:45,966 --> 00:02:47,835
back to high school to
prove a point?

72
00:02:47,836 --> 00:02:50,474
- Yes.
Ughhh.

73
00:02:50,475 --> 00:02:51,610
[school bell]

74
00:02:51,611 --> 00:02:53,413
Oh, man. This is a great idea,
Mark.

75
00:02:53,414 --> 00:02:55,383
I've always wanted to go
back to high school

76
00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:57,420
so I can finally take
Advanced Wood Shop.

77
00:02:57,421 --> 00:03:00,093
But uh... are you sure we're
allowed to do this?

78
00:03:00,127 --> 00:03:02,098
Yes, Hank.
it's a Public School.

79
00:03:02,099 --> 00:03:03,332
It's like the uh, library.

80
00:03:03,333 --> 00:03:05,571
If you pay taxes,
you can go to high school.

81
00:03:06,372 --> 00:03:08,343
Man, this place hasn't
changed at all.

82
00:03:08,377 --> 00:03:10,480
- Stop.
- Hey, what the hell is this?

83
00:03:10,515 --> 00:03:13,153
You are not authorized to
access this facility.

84
00:03:13,220 --> 00:03:14,990
Please scan your student I.D.

85
00:03:15,090 --> 00:03:16,727
Ay- move-
Relax, Robocop.

86
00:03:16,728 --> 00:03:17,661
We're just here to learn.

87
00:03:17,662 --> 00:03:19,364
Failure to comply will
result in

88
00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:20,868
escalation to school
authorities.

89
00:03:20,869 --> 00:03:22,938
Alright, alright. Relax.
Okay, we're leaving.

90
00:03:22,939 --> 00:03:24,107
Go go go! Hank!
C'mon, c'mon.

91
00:03:24,108 --> 00:03:26,179
Security alert.
Code 221!

92
00:03:26,212 --> 00:03:28,750
Ah! Alright he got me,
he- he got me!

93
00:03:28,751 --> 00:03:32,224
So, why are two grown men
trying to enter my high school?

94
00:03:32,225 --> 00:03:33,627
Ma'am,
we're just here to learn.

95
00:03:33,628 --> 00:03:35,496
If you're looking to
further your education,

96
00:03:35,497 --> 00:03:37,132
there are plenty
of adult programs

97
00:03:37,133 --> 00:03:38,770
that might be more
age-appropriate.

98
00:03:38,771 --> 00:03:40,674
Ah, c'mon, dude.
I really need this, okay?

99
00:03:40,675 --> 00:03:43,548
I gotta show my step-son,
I can get an A in U.S. History.

100
00:03:43,549 --> 00:03:44,481
I'm sorry.

101
00:03:44,482 --> 00:03:47,053
I'm not gonna defy
school policy so

102
00:03:47,154 --> 00:03:49,084
you can prove a
point to your step-son.

103
00:03:49,085 --> 00:03:50,426
Alright. Well then
I guess I gotta

104
00:03:50,427 --> 00:03:51,729
sue you for age discrimination.

105
00:03:51,730 --> 00:03:53,780
Alright well, those are
the magic words.

106
00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:55,236
Not touchin' that one.

107
00:03:57,107 --> 00:03:59,445
Uh... Hello?

108
00:04:07,995 --> 00:04:09,632
- Don't touch that!
- Oh!

109
00:04:09,733 --> 00:04:11,469
Uh... Mr. Jackson?

110
00:04:11,570 --> 00:04:13,340
The wood shop is off-limits.

111
00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:15,545
Oh uh... it's me, Hank Hoagies.

112
00:04:15,645 --> 00:04:18,016
I was hoping to uh,
take advanced wood shop

113
00:04:18,116 --> 00:04:20,721
and, uh, finally learn how to
use all the big tools.

114
00:04:20,821 --> 00:04:23,293
You can't, the wood shop
is no more.

115
00:04:23,393 --> 00:04:25,430
Oh uh, sorry to hear that, uh...

116
00:04:25,564 --> 00:04:27,768
Well I uh, I finally finished
my uh,

117
00:04:27,869 --> 00:04:29,906
birdhouse project if you
wanna see it.

118
00:04:31,375 --> 00:04:34,248
Hm. Impressive craftsmanship.

119
00:04:34,415 --> 00:04:37,622
So, you want to take
Advanced Woodshop, eh?

120
00:04:37,655 --> 00:04:38,891
Uh, yeah.

121
00:04:39,024 --> 00:04:40,127
Well, then.

122
00:04:40,294 --> 00:04:42,030
Let's get started.

123
00:04:42,064 --> 00:04:43,834
Woah! Uh, heheh.

124
00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:47,690
Oh, no.

125
00:04:47,691 --> 00:04:48,943
-Sup.
- What are you doing?

126
00:04:48,944 --> 00:04:51,582
What does it look like I'm
doing. I'm taking ninth grade

127
00:04:51,583 --> 00:04:52,633
U .S. History, bud.

128
00:04:52,652 --> 00:04:54,389
Are you even allowed in school?

129
00:04:54,623 --> 00:04:56,726
- Boom.
- Ugh. Mark, please.

130
00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:59,598
Okay, I was wrong.
You're actually a genius, okay?

131
00:04:59,599 --> 00:05:01,603
Uh no, Darren.
That was not sincere.

132
00:05:01,737 --> 00:05:04,208
I'm gonna earn your respect
by acing this class.

133
00:05:04,209 --> 00:05:06,411
Now if you excuse me,
I'm here for school,

134
00:05:06,412 --> 00:05:07,882
not socializin'.

135
00:05:07,915 --> 00:05:09,452
Morning history, fam!

136
00:05:09,553 --> 00:05:11,355
So uh,
as you may have noticed,

137
00:05:11,456 --> 00:05:14,461
We have a new student
in class today.

138
00:05:14,494 --> 00:05:19,338
Yeah. Let's give a warm
welcome to Mark Hoagies.

139
00:05:22,310 --> 00:05:24,215
So, what happened to Woodshop?

140
00:05:24,315 --> 00:05:26,887
Damn Superintendent pulled
our funding

141
00:05:26,987 --> 00:05:29,325
for more computer classes.

142
00:05:29,326 --> 00:05:30,426
Oh, that ain't right.

143
00:05:30,427 --> 00:05:32,697
Woodshop was my favorite class
in high school.

144
00:05:32,698 --> 00:05:34,869
You know,
it warms my heart to see that

145
00:05:34,902 --> 00:05:39,045
someone still understands the
value of craftsmanship.

146
00:05:39,212 --> 00:05:40,581
Now, where was I?

147
00:05:40,815 --> 00:05:41,950
Ah, yes!

148
00:05:42,084 --> 00:05:46,258
Anyone can build a birdhouse,
but to pass Advanced Woodshop,

149
00:05:46,292 --> 00:05:49,365
you must make something
much more complex...

150
00:05:49,533 --> 00:05:51,269
'The Marionette.'

151
00:05:51,302 --> 00:05:53,306
Oooh. Do I get to
use all the tools?

152
00:05:53,373 --> 00:05:55,411
Ah-bup-bup.
One step at a time.

153
00:05:55,612 --> 00:05:57,615
We'll start with the table saw.

154
00:05:57,715 --> 00:05:58,765
Hell yeah.

155
00:05:58,984 --> 00:06:02,659
Y'okie-dokie. Can anyone tell me
some of the motivations behind

156
00:06:02,692 --> 00:06:05,397
Andrew Jackson's
Indian Removal Act?

157
00:06:05,430 --> 00:06:06,567
Mmmark.

158
00:06:06,568 --> 00:06:08,636
Uh, the government wanted
to hide the discovery

159
00:06:08,637 --> 00:06:11,374
of ancient alien technology on
Native American lands?

160
00:06:11,375 --> 00:06:12,745
Heh, based.

161
00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:18,123
Haha, Interesting guess, but
gonna be a no from me, dawg.

162
00:06:18,524 --> 00:06:20,560
Uh. Anyone else?
Darren.

163
00:06:20,561 --> 00:06:22,296
President Jackson believed
it would

164
00:06:22,297 --> 00:06:24,034
open up land for
white settlers.

165
00:06:24,168 --> 00:06:25,671
Correctamundo.

166
00:06:25,672 --> 00:06:28,442
Looks like someone did
their reading last night, dawg.

167
00:06:28,443 --> 00:06:30,180
Uh... heh, yessir.

168
00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:32,518
Alright history fam.

169
00:06:32,552 --> 00:06:35,022
Don't forget, tomorrow
we've got a quizzorino,

170
00:06:35,023 --> 00:06:38,162
so make sure you smash
that reading tonight.

171
00:06:38,329 --> 00:06:39,733
Oh hey! Mark!

172
00:06:39,734 --> 00:06:42,003
I think it's pretty rad
what you're doing, man.

173
00:06:42,004 --> 00:06:44,774
Takes major cojones to go
back to high school, you know.

174
00:06:44,775 --> 00:06:46,411
Thank you, Mr. Bouchard.
'Preciate it.

175
00:06:46,412 --> 00:06:47,982
Oh, c'mon. Class is over.

176
00:06:48,082 --> 00:06:51,288
You can call me Jared.
Been a long time, brotha. Hoo.

177
00:06:51,289 --> 00:06:52,691
Wait we- we know each other?

178
00:06:52,692 --> 00:06:54,294
Yeah! We went to
high school together.

179
00:06:54,295 --> 00:06:55,363
Stormin' Mormon?

180
00:06:55,598 --> 00:06:57,836
Uhhh. Damn dude. I didn't uh,

181
00:06:57,869 --> 00:07:00,675
recognize you
with the long uh... long hair.

182
00:07:00,708 --> 00:07:03,714
Yeah. Yeah, I've been growing
it out since the divorce.

183
00:07:03,814 --> 00:07:06,587
Ooh, sorry to hear that,
but it looks good, though,

184
00:07:06,620 --> 00:07:10,594
It's got a real early uh...
early 2000s Undertaker vibe.

185
00:07:10,695 --> 00:07:11,931
Ah thanks, brotha.

186
00:07:12,031 --> 00:07:14,903
Anyway, uh, let me know
if you ever wanna grab

187
00:07:14,937 --> 00:07:17,107
a drink and catch up
outside of class.

188
00:07:17,108 --> 00:07:18,241
Wait. Drinks?

189
00:07:18,242 --> 00:07:20,012
I thought Mormons
weren't allowed to do that.

190
00:07:20,013 --> 00:07:23,620
Yeah well, you know, left
the wife and that life behind.

191
00:07:23,621 --> 00:07:26,091
Problem is, most of my friends
were through the church.

192
00:07:26,092 --> 00:07:28,982
I'm kinda in the market for
some dude pals to bro down with.

193
00:07:28,998 --> 00:07:32,137
- You feel me?
- Uh yeah, maybe another time.

194
00:07:32,271 --> 00:07:35,511
I got a uh... y'know, I got that
quizzorino to study for, so...

195
00:07:35,544 --> 00:07:38,984
Right on, brotha. Okay.
Keep crushing it. Bang!

196
00:07:42,759 --> 00:07:44,809
Hey Tam, you mind uh,
turning that down?

197
00:07:44,810 --> 00:07:46,197
I'm trying to study over here.

198
00:07:46,198 --> 00:07:48,102
Oh. Well, it looks like
you're on your phone.

199
00:07:48,103 --> 00:07:51,275
Uh, no. I'm actually watching
educational history videos.

200
00:07:51,276 --> 00:07:54,080
Well, maybe you should, I
don't know, read the textbook?

201
00:07:54,081 --> 00:07:55,115
Pfft! Yeah, right.

202
00:07:55,116 --> 00:07:56,886
You want me to read from
some boring book when

203
00:07:56,887 --> 00:07:58,154
I can just watch a
4 minute video

204
00:07:58,155 --> 00:07:59,925
that sums it all up
with fun animations?

205
00:07:59,926 --> 00:08:01,094
Get out of here.
- Hey there, Mark.

206
00:08:01,095 --> 00:08:03,900
You wanna come study with us?
- Uh, I'm good, Scrooge.

207
00:08:03,901 --> 00:08:06,238
Okay, I don't need the
Ghost of Christmas Past

208
00:08:06,239 --> 00:08:07,675
comin' to teach
me history.

209
00:08:07,775 --> 00:08:09,846
Uh... I'm Martin Van Buren.

210
00:08:09,913 --> 00:08:11,723
Martin- what?
Who the hell is that?

211
00:08:12,350 --> 00:08:16,225
Alright, history fam.
Most of you slayed this thing.

212
00:08:16,258 --> 00:08:17,529
Nice work.

213
00:08:17,562 --> 00:08:19,899
Ms. Mia. Well done.

214
00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:22,070
D-money. Nice work.

215
00:08:22,203 --> 00:08:23,740
Mark.

216
00:08:25,009 --> 00:08:26,278
What the hell?

217
00:08:27,748 --> 00:08:30,688
Hey, listen, Mark.
I can recommend a great tutor.

218
00:08:30,788 --> 00:08:33,026
His name's David and
he's really smart.

219
00:08:33,159 --> 00:08:34,395
Heheheheh.

220
00:08:34,396 --> 00:08:35,964
Yeah okay, laugh it up,
Darren.

221
00:08:35,965 --> 00:08:37,567
Your friends know you
like anime?

222
00:08:37,568 --> 00:08:39,839
Uh. We all like anime.

223
00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:41,809
Pfft! Yeah well, I guess
this is what happens

224
00:08:41,810 --> 00:08:44,100
when everybody gets a
participation trophy.

225
00:08:44,101 --> 00:08:45,215
Oh my God, what?

226
00:08:45,216 --> 00:08:47,622
If anyone's getting a
participation trophy,

227
00:08:47,722 --> 00:08:49,157
it's you, Mr. C minus.

228
00:08:49,692 --> 00:08:50,928
Bullying detected!

229
00:08:50,929 --> 00:08:52,698
Please refrain from
harassment or

230
00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:54,100
I will be forced to take action.

231
00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:56,305
Come on, Dar.
Don't stoop to his level.

232
00:08:56,439 --> 00:08:58,109
Bullying him on social media.

233
00:08:58,142 --> 00:08:59,522
Everything cool over here?

234
00:08:59,546 --> 00:09:02,450
Yeah, all good.
What's with the T-800?

235
00:09:02,484 --> 00:09:04,254
Oh, it's some new
security robot.

236
00:09:04,287 --> 00:09:07,057
I guess it just got some
kind of Anti-Bullying upgrade.

237
00:09:07,127 --> 00:09:08,177
Damn, man.

238
00:09:08,178 --> 00:09:09,932
Can you imagine if we had one
of those when we

239
00:09:09,933 --> 00:09:12,136
went to high school? The thing
would be going berserk.

240
00:09:12,137 --> 00:09:14,173
We were giving each
other wedgies left and right.

241
00:09:14,174 --> 00:09:16,284
Totally. I still have a scar
on my perineum.

242
00:09:16,285 --> 00:09:18,381
So, boys, how was school?

243
00:09:18,382 --> 00:09:21,021
I got a B on the history quiz.
- Uh, it was B-minus.

244
00:09:21,054 --> 00:09:23,224
Mark got a C-minus.
- Go to your room, please.

245
00:09:23,225 --> 00:09:26,967
Because you got a C-minus?
- Because... you're bullying me.

246
00:09:26,968 --> 00:09:28,001
- Grow up.

247
00:09:28,002 --> 00:09:29,738
See this, Tam?
He's been doing this non-stop.

248
00:09:29,739 --> 00:09:31,709
It's very hard to focus in class
when Darren is

249
00:09:31,710 --> 00:09:32,844
constantly giving me crap.

250
00:09:32,845 --> 00:09:34,414
Bro, you don't
even read the books.

251
00:09:34,415 --> 00:09:37,721
Uh. Yeah well... I can't learn
using traditional methods, okay.

252
00:09:37,755 --> 00:09:40,326
They're too boring for me.
Ok- I'm neuro... detergent.

253
00:09:40,393 --> 00:09:41,461
- Pfft!
- Darren!

254
00:09:41,462 --> 00:09:43,098
Hahaha yeah,
laugh it up, Darren.

255
00:09:43,099 --> 00:09:46,172
ADHD is actually very
common and in geniuses.

256
00:09:46,173 --> 00:09:48,643
Albert Einstein, why do you
think he has the crazy hair?

257
00:09:48,644 --> 00:09:50,380
Because he... didn't know
where his...

258
00:09:50,381 --> 00:09:52,049
hairbrush was all the time, y-

259
00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:54,588
Well, maybe academics isn't
for you, which is fine.

260
00:09:54,589 --> 00:09:55,958
Yeah, Mark. I agree.

261
00:09:56,058 --> 00:09:58,048
You should stop going to
my high school.

262
00:09:58,664 --> 00:10:01,268
Speaking of academics,
David's here.

263
00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:02,705
[phone]

264
00:10:03,138 --> 00:10:05,911
Hun, don't be afraid to ask the
teacher for extra help.

265
00:10:06,011 --> 00:10:09,018
I'm here to fill your mind,
young Padawan.

266
00:10:09,485 --> 00:10:12,357
Oh don't worry about that.
I won't.

267
00:10:14,227 --> 00:10:16,366
Yooo. There he is.

268
00:10:16,399 --> 00:10:17,535
Yo, there's my guy.

269
00:10:17,536 --> 00:10:19,771
What's up, dude, what
do you want to drink?

270
00:10:19,772 --> 00:10:22,678
Ah-da-bop-bop-bah.
Man... y'know, I dunno,

271
00:10:22,712 --> 00:10:25,250
this whole bar scene
is sort of new to me.

272
00:10:25,383 --> 00:10:26,886
Maybe a Strawberry Daiquiri?

273
00:10:28,590 --> 00:10:30,580
Is that weird? Yeah,
that's weird. Okay.

274
00:10:30,795 --> 00:10:34,702
What about a Sex on the Beach?

275
00:10:35,537 --> 00:10:38,075
Uh... Yeah.
Maybe we start with a beer.

276
00:10:38,109 --> 00:10:40,948
Yes. A beer. Classic.
Love that idea.

277
00:10:41,082 --> 00:10:45,525
So I walk in and this dude is
just going to town on her, man.

278
00:10:45,558 --> 00:10:47,294
I mean, it was bruuu-tal.

279
00:10:47,361 --> 00:10:48,411
Ah. Sucks, man.

280
00:10:48,597 --> 00:10:52,672
But it's all good. I still got
my other passion: teaching.

281
00:10:52,673 --> 00:10:54,742
Let me tell you,
there's nothing better

282
00:10:54,743 --> 00:10:56,210
than seeing
those kids light

283
00:10:56,211 --> 00:10:58,818
up when I blow their
frickin' minds. Heh.

284
00:10:58,884 --> 00:11:02,692
Well, except... maybe getting
my mind blown by

285
00:11:02,726 --> 00:11:04,996
that milfarino with the
Richard Simmons

286
00:11:05,096 --> 00:11:07,601
hair at your two o'clock.
Sup.

287
00:11:07,635 --> 00:11:09,572
Yeah, totally.

288
00:11:09,606 --> 00:11:11,896
So listen, uh, you're looking
for a wingman,

289
00:11:11,897 --> 00:11:13,445
I'm looking to get an
A in your class,

290
00:11:13,446 --> 00:11:16,218
so... How about we, ya know,
help each other out?

291
00:11:16,318 --> 00:11:18,256
Ah, I feel ya. I feel ya.

292
00:11:18,289 --> 00:11:21,128
Looking for a little 'extra
help' from ya boi?

293
00:11:21,129 --> 00:11:23,431
Ay, I'm just saying,
otherwise I'm gonna have

294
00:11:23,432 --> 00:11:24,969
to go home and study...

295
00:11:25,003 --> 00:11:27,775
Okay. Alright. I hear that.
Let's do it, brotha.

296
00:11:27,875 --> 00:11:30,079
Yoo, let's gooo.

297
00:11:32,451 --> 00:11:37,828
? [action]

298
00:12:06,753 --> 00:12:08,958
Think I'm gonna call him
"Baseball Boy."

299
00:12:09,058 --> 00:12:11,963
This is some fine craftsmanship,
Mr. Hoagies.

300
00:12:12,064 --> 00:12:15,370
A-plus. Congratulations,
you've passed.

301
00:12:15,470 --> 00:12:17,007
Oh, wow. That's awesome!

302
00:12:17,107 --> 00:12:19,277
So, uh, can I use
that big tool now?

303
00:12:19,411 --> 00:12:23,654
Oh... I don't know if you're
ready for that one.

304
00:12:23,754 --> 00:12:25,156
But you gave me an A-plus.

305
00:12:25,323 --> 00:12:29,799
Listen, Hank. Beneath that
tarp is a very powerful tool.

306
00:12:29,899 --> 00:12:33,072
Forbidden to all but the
most committed craftsman.

307
00:12:33,172 --> 00:12:35,009
I mean, uh,
I'm pretty committed.

308
00:12:35,042 --> 00:12:37,515
I spent 15 years working
on that birdhouse.

309
00:12:37,582 --> 00:12:39,953
Okay, but you must understand,

310
00:12:40,086 --> 00:12:44,327
once I show you its secrets,
there's no going back.

311
00:12:44,461 --> 00:12:46,833
Yeah, okay. I want to
learn all the tools.

312
00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:49,037
Well then... it's time
for you to

313
00:12:49,070 --> 00:12:51,643
take your craft
to the next level,

314
00:12:51,677 --> 00:12:55,517
to bring your creation to life!

315
00:12:57,821 --> 00:13:01,428
Uh... Mr. Jackson?
You okay?

316
00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:04,034
Yoohoo!
Up here.

317
00:13:05,704 --> 00:13:09,244
Woah... uh... hi?
Wait, are you?

318
00:13:09,377 --> 00:13:10,713
Mr. Jackson?

319
00:13:10,714 --> 00:13:13,586
Please.
Call me by my puppet name:

320
00:13:14,154 --> 00:13:15,624
Chippy.

321
00:13:15,924 --> 00:13:18,128
Uh... Okay.

322
00:13:18,697 --> 00:13:20,366
So, how was school?

323
00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:21,516
It was okay.

324
00:13:21,570 --> 00:13:25,978
Whoaaa. Look at you, Mark.
A-plus. That's amazing!

325
00:13:26,078 --> 00:13:28,349
- How'd you do, Darren?
- B-plus.

326
00:13:28,449 --> 00:13:29,686
That's not bad!

327
00:13:29,719 --> 00:13:31,857
I mean, it's no A-plus,
but hey, you know,

328
00:13:31,858 --> 00:13:33,392
academics aren't for everyone,
bud.

329
00:13:33,393 --> 00:13:37,300
Now, if you'll excuse me, I
need to attend my study session.

330
00:13:39,438 --> 00:13:40,975
Yo, let me get two more

331
00:13:41,008 --> 00:13:43,647
Pineapple Upside
Down Cake shots.

332
00:13:43,747 --> 00:13:46,452
Oh, wait. Make that three.

333
00:13:46,586 --> 00:13:47,988
Uh nah, I'm okay uh...

334
00:13:48,022 --> 00:13:49,892
I actually gotta get out
of here so...

335
00:13:49,992 --> 00:13:51,462
Can I get those answers?

336
00:13:51,495 --> 00:13:52,831
Oh yeah, yeah. My b.

337
00:13:52,865 --> 00:13:54,334
One sec, babe.
Hold on.

338
00:14:01,348 --> 00:14:03,019
Anyone uh... see Mr. B?

339
00:14:03,052 --> 00:14:04,822
Maybe he was out
late last night.

340
00:14:04,856 --> 00:14:08,864
Gah, um, good morning,
good morrrrning.

341
00:14:08,931 --> 00:14:11,770
Blah, blah-blah-blah-blah-blah,
blah. Blah!

342
00:14:12,137 --> 00:14:14,542
Ok, stuuds. Uh, pop quiz:

343
00:14:14,609 --> 00:14:19,485
guess who got some top-notch
boingo-bananas last night.

344
00:14:19,586 --> 00:14:22,123
This guyyyyy.

345
00:14:22,490 --> 00:14:24,294
Okay, what was I doing?

346
00:14:24,427 --> 00:14:27,902
Oh yeah. Last quiz
before the big kahuna.

347
00:14:27,935 --> 00:14:30,908
Uh, Mr. Boosh, uh,
you need a hand there, or?

348
00:14:31,008 --> 00:14:35,517
Uh no, I got plenty
of that last night. Hahaha.

349
00:14:36,553 --> 00:14:41,629
Uh, this is a flyer
for intramural basketball.

350
00:14:42,765 --> 00:14:44,067
- Bro!
- Oh, God.

351
00:14:44,101 --> 00:14:46,606
Ohh, ow, my head, my head...
Oooh...

352
00:14:46,673 --> 00:14:49,410
Ah, frickin' Stormin' Mormon.

353
00:14:52,334 --> 00:14:53,520
So he's in rehab?

354
00:14:53,521 --> 00:14:54,487
Yep. It's ridiculous.

355
00:14:54,488 --> 00:14:56,191
I mean, the guy was
barely even buzzed.

356
00:14:56,192 --> 00:14:59,397
Mark's just upset because now he
can't cheat on the final exam.

357
00:14:59,832 --> 00:15:02,203
Wow, wow. I see how it is.

358
00:15:02,204 --> 00:15:05,175
I couldn't possibly be gettin'
good grades because I'm smart.

359
00:15:05,176 --> 00:15:06,879
Gotta be cheating, eh?
Unbelievable.

360
00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:10,721
I literally saw Mr. Bouchard
hand you the answers at TJ's.

361
00:15:10,722 --> 00:15:13,592
The other day, he winked at you
after handing your test back.

362
00:15:13,593 --> 00:15:14,663
C'mon, man.

363
00:15:14,696 --> 00:15:16,599
Mark? Is this true?

364
00:15:17,801 --> 00:15:19,371
You know what? Yeah.
Yeah, it is.

365
00:15:19,372 --> 00:15:21,274
He's been giving me
the answers, okay?

366
00:15:21,275 --> 00:15:22,912
But that is not cheating!

367
00:15:22,945 --> 00:15:24,214
How is that not cheating?

368
00:15:24,247 --> 00:15:26,385
I have ADHD, okay.
I'm allowed extra help.

369
00:15:26,452 --> 00:15:28,824
Uh, I don't know if
being given the answers

370
00:15:28,924 --> 00:15:30,259
qualifies as "extra help."

371
00:15:30,260 --> 00:15:32,129
Well, some people study to
get an A,

372
00:15:32,130 --> 00:15:34,099
and others use their
people skills, okay.

373
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,103
It's just different paths up
the same mountain.

374
00:15:36,104 --> 00:15:37,607
'Cause I got news for you,
Darren,

375
00:15:37,608 --> 00:15:40,145
in the real world,
all that matters is results.

376
00:15:40,146 --> 00:15:41,983
It doesn't matter how
you get there.

377
00:15:41,984 --> 00:15:43,987
Argh, this is pretty
pathetic, Mark.

378
00:15:43,988 --> 00:15:45,590
You cheated at ninth
grade history.

379
00:15:45,591 --> 00:15:46,592
You know what?

380
00:15:46,593 --> 00:15:48,495
Now I know how Millard
Fillmore must have felt

381
00:15:48,496 --> 00:15:51,386
when he was abandoned by the
Whigs at the 1852 Convention.

382
00:15:51,402 --> 00:15:53,840
Guy signs a frickin'
Compromise of 1850

383
00:15:53,841 --> 00:15:55,843
just to keep the country
from falling apart

384
00:15:55,844 --> 00:15:57,780
and what did he get for it?
No nomination!

385
00:15:57,781 --> 00:16:00,285
You know why? Because
it's always the visionaries

386
00:16:00,286 --> 00:16:02,289
who get thrown under
the bus by the same people

387
00:16:02,290 --> 00:16:03,980
who should be
appreciating them.

388
00:16:11,676 --> 00:16:13,146
- Hey, Mark.
- Oh, great.

389
00:16:13,246 --> 00:16:15,584
You hear to bust my
balls about cheating?

390
00:16:15,617 --> 00:16:17,386
Mark, you weren't cheating.

391
00:16:17,387 --> 00:16:19,057
Pfft. What are you
talking about?

392
00:16:19,058 --> 00:16:20,527
Bouchard was giving me
all the answers.

393
00:16:20,528 --> 00:16:23,833
Yeah, it's called learning.
Bouchard was just tutoring you.

394
00:16:23,967 --> 00:16:27,306
The "answers" you were reading
were actually just study guides.

395
00:16:27,406 --> 00:16:30,011
Huh. Get the hell out of here,
How about that?

396
00:16:30,012 --> 00:16:32,852
So I was thinking... maybe
we could study together.

397
00:16:32,952 --> 00:16:37,059
Wait, do you really mean that,
or are you just being a bully?

398
00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:39,497
Yeah. You- you really
know this stuff.

399
00:16:39,598 --> 00:16:42,572
Really appreciate that, Darren.
But wh- what about David?

400
00:16:42,573 --> 00:16:45,408
Honestly... I think you know the
material better than him.

401
00:16:45,409 --> 00:16:49,083
Plus, his costumes are becoming
increasingly problematic.

402
00:16:50,854 --> 00:16:53,393
So uh... you're a puppet now?

403
00:16:53,426 --> 00:16:57,200
Indeed. Like wood shop,
I too was dying.

404
00:16:57,233 --> 00:17:00,741
I had to get out of
that decrepit old flesh sack.

405
00:17:00,775 --> 00:17:02,511
But... uh... how?

406
00:17:02,611 --> 00:17:04,548
The Unspooler!

407
00:17:05,049 --> 00:17:06,099
Whoa.

408
00:17:06,318 --> 00:17:09,759
I built it myself, based on the
drawings of Geppetto Lucignolo,

409
00:17:09,792 --> 00:17:13,800
an 18th century puppeteering
genius from Florence.

410
00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:16,004
Lucignolo believed that
the mind

411
00:17:16,038 --> 00:17:18,877
was intricately woven,
like a fine thread,

412
00:17:18,878 --> 00:17:20,713
throughout our entire
nervous system,

413
00:17:20,714 --> 00:17:23,085
and that if you could
unspool this thread,

414
00:17:23,219 --> 00:17:25,590
you could transplant your soul.

415
00:17:25,690 --> 00:17:26,927
Oh, wow. Pretty cool.

416
00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:28,196
Pretty cool indeed.

417
00:17:28,329 --> 00:17:32,237
Using this machine here,
I discarded my dying body...

418
00:17:32,337 --> 00:17:34,374
... for this sturdy wooden one,

419
00:17:34,474 --> 00:17:36,580
free from the
frailties of flesh.

420
00:17:36,613 --> 00:17:39,150
So join me, Hank.
And together we can live

421
00:17:39,151 --> 00:17:41,353
in the wood shop,
puppet friends forever.

422
00:17:41,354 --> 00:17:46,231
For today you become...
Baseball Boy.

423
00:17:46,498 --> 00:17:49,438
Hm, yeah uh...
I think maybe this tool

424
00:17:49,505 --> 00:17:51,876
is a little too
advanced for me.

425
00:17:51,976 --> 00:17:54,314
Alright, everyone.
As you may have heard,

426
00:17:54,315 --> 00:17:56,652
Mr. Bouchard will be taking
a leave of absence,

427
00:17:56,653 --> 00:17:59,625
so we'll have a proctor over-
seeing your final exam today.

428
00:17:59,626 --> 00:18:01,360
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
How you gonna replace

429
00:18:01,361 --> 00:18:03,097
Bouchard with a frickin'
security robot?

430
00:18:03,098 --> 00:18:04,569
We want Mr. Bouchard back.

431
00:18:04,602 --> 00:18:05,771
-Yeah!
- Seriously

432
00:18:05,772 --> 00:18:06,705
Yeah, well, too bad.

433
00:18:06,706 --> 00:18:08,509
STU doesn't show up
to class drunk.

434
00:18:08,543 --> 00:18:10,881
And the best part, no tenure.

435
00:18:10,981 --> 00:18:12,851
I will now distribute
your exams.

436
00:18:12,885 --> 00:18:13,953
Wait Scantron?

437
00:18:13,954 --> 00:18:15,856
Yo, this is supposed to
be essay questions.

438
00:18:15,857 --> 00:18:17,159
No talking!

439
00:18:19,164 --> 00:18:21,167
Psst! Mark!
This isn't what we studied.

440
00:18:21,168 --> 00:18:23,004
I know.
I don't know any of this stuff.

441
00:18:23,005 --> 00:18:24,874
This test is like a
third of our grade!

442
00:18:24,875 --> 00:18:26,345
Oh man, this ain't right.

443
00:18:26,378 --> 00:18:29,585
Hey uh, R2D2, I think you
got the wrong test here, bud.

444
00:18:29,685 --> 00:18:30,735
No talking.

445
00:18:30,736 --> 00:18:33,925
This test is generated by STU
based on the latest textbooks.

446
00:18:33,926 --> 00:18:35,496
Maybe you just didn't study.

447
00:18:35,497 --> 00:18:36,532
Bullying detected.

448
00:18:36,533 --> 00:18:38,001
Please refrain
from harassment or

449
00:18:38,002 --> 00:18:39,469
security protocols
will be taken.

450
00:18:39,470 --> 00:18:41,909
Ugh, this anti-bullying
software is way too sensitive

451
00:18:41,910 --> 00:18:43,211
They gotta fix that.

452
00:18:45,015 --> 00:18:47,186
Yo, Darren. Yeah,
that's right you,

453
00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:48,789
you frickin' nerd!

454
00:18:48,790 --> 00:18:50,760
Yeah, take that, you geek!

455
00:18:50,761 --> 00:18:51,863
Mark, what the hell?

456
00:18:51,896 --> 00:18:52,976
Yo, just trust me, Dar.

457
00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:56,606
Severe bullying detected.
Initiating security protocols.

458
00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:57,841
Oh, God.

459
00:18:57,875 --> 00:18:59,243
Uh, holy crap.

460
00:19:00,046 --> 00:19:01,749
Mark! Run!

461
00:19:01,783 --> 00:19:03,920
Aaaaaaaahhhhh!

462
00:19:04,053 --> 00:19:06,157
Welp, this is gonna
be a lawsuit.

463
00:19:06,191 --> 00:19:08,495
Everyone, uh... test postponed.

464
00:19:10,867 --> 00:19:13,138
I mean, uh- do I have to
become a marionette?

465
00:19:13,205 --> 00:19:15,209
Can't we, you know,
just be friends or...?

466
00:19:15,309 --> 00:19:16,478
No, no, no, no.

467
00:19:16,579 --> 00:19:18,817
Do you understand how
lonely it is

468
00:19:18,850 --> 00:19:21,755
being the only living
marionette around?

469
00:19:21,756 --> 00:19:26,699
Yeah, I hear you, but I think
I'm going to head back, yeah.

470
00:19:26,799 --> 00:19:28,201
It's too late, Hank.

471
00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:30,473
I'm afraid there is
no going back.

472
00:19:30,507 --> 00:19:32,812
Now that you know
all the tools,

473
00:19:32,912 --> 00:19:34,782
you know my secret.

474
00:19:36,552 --> 00:19:39,558
This school has a zero
tolerance bullying policy.

475
00:19:39,592 --> 00:19:43,566
You must die! You must die!
You must die!

476
00:19:50,648 --> 00:19:53,252
Hank? What the hell is
going on in here?

477
00:19:53,352 --> 00:19:56,959
Oh hey, Mark, would
you mind, uh, saving me?

478
00:19:57,728 --> 00:19:58,997
Woah! What the hell?

479
00:19:59,030 --> 00:20:00,567
Woodshop is closed!

480
00:20:01,268 --> 00:20:04,174
No computers allowed in
the wood shop!

481
00:20:04,207 --> 00:20:06,178
Security alert 285:

482
00:20:06,211 --> 00:20:07,915
malevolent entity detected.

483
00:20:07,948 --> 00:20:09,819
Initiating maximum force.

484
00:20:10,286 --> 00:20:12,824
Whoa holy...
Yo this is pretty nuts.

485
00:20:24,816 --> 00:20:25,866
Take this!

486
00:20:25,867 --> 00:20:27,820
Uh, I'm thinkin' we get the
hell out of here,

487
00:20:27,821 --> 00:20:29,725
what are you think?
- Uh okay, yeah.

488
00:20:35,369 --> 00:20:38,241
Man, I guess high school
really has changed.

489
00:20:38,242 --> 00:20:39,745
You can say that again.

490
00:20:55,043 --> 00:20:57,514
Goodbye, old friend.

491
00:21:05,329 --> 00:21:08,603
So, Mr. Bouchard.
You're looking fresh.

492
00:21:08,703 --> 00:21:11,810
Three months of rehab-arino
will do that to you.

493
00:21:11,943 --> 00:21:14,381
I guess you could say I had
my own, personal

494
00:21:14,414 --> 00:21:15,750
"Whiskey Rebellion."

495
00:21:15,850 --> 00:21:17,687
Alright well,
we're proud of you,

496
00:21:17,688 --> 00:21:19,758
and the students are grateful
to have you back.

497
00:21:19,759 --> 00:21:21,569
Alright well,
catch ya on the flip!

498
00:21:23,934 --> 00:21:26,572
STU? Where have you been?

499
00:21:26,605 --> 00:21:30,143
Time to bring back woodshop.

500
00:21:30,193 --> 00:21:34,743
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0